It’s no secret that relationships are a lot of work. They take patience, compromise, trust and a whole bunch of life skills. When we’re single, it’s easy to fantasize about how great life will be once we find that perfect person. What happens next is we finally find it and one day we wake up realizing he or she is far from perfect.
And while couplehood can be pretty awesome, there’s a lot that goes on in relationships causing partners to live an unhappy life. Here are some of the most common problems couples face:
Money is the number one issue in relationships at all stages, especially today when making ends meet is really stressful. And even if both of you are doing financially ok, there is still a budget to work out.
Trust is a key component to every successful relationship. If something betrays that trust and the couple just picks up and goes back to life, eventually there will be an earthquake.
- Lack of communication
Couples are often not great at talking about issues that really matter to them. People often tuck things away hoping they will disappear or assume partners know what they are feeling, when in fact, they have no idea.
- Unhealthy fighting
When couples finally do get to communicating, it often results in bickering, blaming, yelling and name-calling. As time goes by, they don’t feel like communicating anymore because it usually ends badly. A recipe for disaster: they slowly drift apart and wonder where it all went wrong.
When people feel disconnected from each other, it does not create the emotional closeness that spins desire and intimacy. Not having the sex life one desires is one of the most painful rejections a person can suffer. The result can be fighting, misery, and in some cases, infidelity.
- Taking relationship for granted
In the beginning of a relationship, we typically want to spend every minute with our sweetheart. As time goes by, the initial excitement fades, making room for monotonous coexistence. Taking their relationship for granted, couples often don’t realize the many subtle ways they are ‘turning away’ their partner causing disconnection.
- Not accepting each other’s flaws
When people first meet and fall in love, there is a great amount of idealization of the other: it’s almost as if our partner can do no wrong. Over time, since none of us are perfect, individuals whose expectations are unrealistic tend to become disappointed and frustrated, even resentful.
Maybe you’ve recognized yourself and your partner in some of the former problem descriptions. I can help you find a new and improved way of staying together.
And if you think couple therapy is only for partners who are thinking of divorce, I want you to know that it is actually far more effective when a relationship is still mostly positive and partners are willing to work out their differences. Just to ask you something, what would you choose: dig yourself out of a very big hole or learn to build a bridge over a smaller one? Waiting too long is certainly one of the top mistakes couples can make in regards to therapy. Don’t hesitate, contact me.